I read the following story from Genesis a while back and it has been on my mind a lot. It has become a prayer of a characteristic that I want to see in myself and in our church. The story is found in Genesis 32. 
During the night Jacob got up and took his two wives, his two servant wives, and his eleven sons and cross the Jabbok River with them. After taking them to the other side, he sent over all his possessions.
This left Jacob alone in the camp, and a man came and wrestled with him until the dawn began to break. When the man saw that he would not win the match, he touched Jacob’s hip and wrenched it out of its socket. Then the man said, “Let me go, for the dawn is breaking!”
But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”
“What is your name?” the man asked. He replied, “Jacob.”
“Your name will no longer be Jacob,” the man told him. “From now on you will be called Israel, because you have fought with God and with men and have won.”
“Please tell me your name,” Jacob said
“Why do you want to know my name?” the man replied. Then he blessed Jacob there. Jacob named the place Peniel (which means “face of God”), for he said, “I have seen God face to face, yet my life has been spared.” The sun was rising as Jacob left Peniel, and he was limping because of the injury to his hip. (Genesis 32:22-31 NLT)
Jacob was on his way somewhere; he was on his way to see his brother Esau. Jacob and Esau hadn’t seen each other years, since he had stolen his birthright and blessing. The two brothers did not leave each other on good terms.
On the eve of this huge reunion, Jacob has an encounter with God.
What stood out to me as I read this was how much Jacob longed for God’s blessing and to remain in God’s presence. It’s almost dawn. He’s been wrestling with the mysterious stranger all night. He’s been physically changed by this encounter. For the rest of his life Jacob walks with a limp because of this encounter.
It’s almost dawn. Jacob has been up all night, he has been injured and he has somewhere he needs to be. Yet Jacob won’t let go, he won’t let go until the person he has been wrestling with blesses him. Then he won’t let go until he tells he gets the strangers name. He wants more.
Jacob recognizes that there is something special about this mysterious stranger. In verse 31 Jacob names the place Peniel, the face of God. In the midst of his wrestling, Jacob realizes that he has met God.
Jacob will not let go, even though he has been up all night, even though he’s in pain, even though he has somewhere to be. Jacob does not want to leave the presence of God; he does not want to leave until God has blessed him.
I read this and I thought about how often I do things with the desire to meet with God. In my study, in a prayer meeting, in a service, in some act, I desire to meet with God, but then I rush away without experiencing the blessing of God in those moments. Or even worse, I enter the very presence of God, I realize it, but the service ends, I come to the end of my study, and I just walk away. Without receiving what God wants to give.
Jacob held on, he would not let go of God until he had fully experienced all that God had for him. In the midst of exhaustion, pain and a busy day ahead, Jacob says “I will not let go until know you fully.” Too often, I know that God is speaking to me, and still I walk away, because of my schedule, because the service is over, because there are people waiting, because … you fill in the blank.
A few years ago Britton and I were at a retreat for Pastors in Banff. It was a great experience. Amazing times of worship together, great conversations with friends, great time of prayer and reflection. The presence of God was evident. The schedule indicated that there would be time for prayer and healing after one of the services. Britton and I went to the service and again had an amazing experience; the Spirit of God was present. The service was wrapping up and people were going forward for prayer for healing.
I had been diagnosed about a month earlier with a thyroid condition and this was weighing heavily on my heart; nothing life threatening, just something I have to live with. When the service ended, I turned to Britton and I said, let’s go. And I led my wife, who was hoping and praying that I meant led’s go to the front, out of the room, away from what God was doing…because I didn’t need that.
I don’t think Jacob would have done this. Jacob was a self-sufficient man, had tricked, scammed, and struggled his way to a place of great richness. Yet he realized he needed God’s blessing and he wasn’t willing to let go, he wasn’t willing to leave the presence of God until he experienced it. I want to be like Jacob, I need to more like Jacob.
Thankfully, God gave me a second chance the next day, to repent of my self-sufficient attitude and to be prayed for. I wasn’t healed, but I experienced a blessing and the presence of God that I never would have experienced if I had just walked away.
What would our lives look like if decided to be more like Jacob. If we took the time and the energy to really wrestle with our faith and to hold onto God, even if it meant staying up all night, even if meant messing up our schedule. I think we’d experience the presence and the blessing of God in a way that we have never experienced before and we would be changed by it, just as Jacob was. If only we would just hold on longer.
A common metaphor used for life is a Road. All of us are journeying on a road and sometimes that road gets rough, bumpy, filled with potholes. Even roads we’ve journeyed down before can suddenly be different, changed from how we remembered it. And these bumps and changes can cause us to lose our joy, lose our hope and even lose our faith. How do we journey on the road of life without this happening?
